Group Intro

[oi_theoi]

Who: new kids
When: Day 57, Morning
Where: Shrine area
What: Arrivals

[More delicious fresh meat has been shipped in]


[Rapunzel | Subaru]

Comments

[pencilpremonition]

I was going to go kill something! I have a sword, I have Dante, I can handle hunting something myself for once!

There's no way TO fix anything. Not this time. It's all broken, it's all ruined, there's no happy ending, just leave me alone.

I thought it would at least help if I kept helping the newbies, if I made myself useful. But I can't even do THAT! Just...fuck me for trying, fuck me for thinking anybody would appreciate any of it!

I wish I'd never been born.

[ghostofthesparklelizards]

....

No.

Becca. We are going to talk. You are either going to come with me, quietly, so I can calm down Rapunzel and make sure she's okay. Because I NEED to. And then we can talk.

Or I am going to knock you out because you have reached the point where we start drugging teammates.

[pencilpremonition]

[the most hateful, petulant, teenage eyerolling expression ever]

Fine, go check on your girlfriend. Since it's so important that you make sure she feels okay after having the person she was nasty to get upset about the fact that she was nasty in the first place.

That makes sense.

[ghostofthesparklelizards]

....

[So, being a trained fighter.]

[I'm actually REALLY GOOD at gauging what is a good amount of force to knock out without serious injury.]

[Aka, THWAP.]

[pencilpremonition]

[enjoy your load of deadweight]

[ghostofthesparklelizards]

[Meh, I've carried heavier.]

[LATER]

[pencilpremonition]

[headaaaaache]

Re: [LATER]

[ghostofthesparklelizards]

[You have a hand tied to your bed.]

[Razzy is there. There is medicine on stand by on whatever nearby surface there is.]

Becca?

[pencilpremonition]

[reaches over and starts working on getting that hand untied, pointedly ignoring Razzy]

[ghostofthesparklelizards]

[Grabs her wrist.]

It's slow to untie knots one handed. That's the only reason I didn't tie up this hand. Don't make me have to.

[pencilpremonition]

[gives her a baleful look, pondering dropping into headspace to hang out with Dante and make Razzy freak out about her suddenly losing consciousness again]

[ghostofthesparklelizards]

[She can overshadow, girl. That won't end well.]

Becca, I'm six years old.

[Giving the most serious look.]

[pencilpremonition]

Sure don't act it.

[ghostofthesparklelizards]

Of course I don't.

[Let's go of her hand. Though she's still watching it. And getting the glass of water and medicine, holding them out to Becca.]

When I was born, I was twelve years old. That was six years ago. And I was a blank slate.

[pencilpremonition]

[takes the medicine and puts it in her mouth, then takes the water and swallows it]

[ghostofthesparklelizards]

[She continues talking, her voice even, but it's soft and just a bit tired.]

I am a clone. A created human being. There were some things that were off, so I wasn't the 'final product' of all the experiments. But I am the only one to 'survive' the experiments.

I left the lab I was made. That's why I did. However, I was on my own. I had no where to go. The only one who would show me kindness would be the first place they would have looked for me and that would have ended my life.

I refused to stay in one place, I always ran. Because of that, I never learned to understand people. And so when I made the move to try and save my own existence, I nearly killed that one person who would show me kindness. Because I couldn't see when I was lied to. Even though it was so...painfully obvious when I saw it again as a different person.

Had I continued as I was...I'm not sure I would have gotten much better. And someone that...stupid that much power would only end in tragedy. Because of that, Sabra La Tau was the best choice I could have made in my life. Despite everything that happened, I'm sure you've heard the horror stories...I was a one year old thirteen year old girl in an amnesia murdercave. Despite how horrible it was...

I would never change that decision.

[pencilpremonition]

Yeah yeah. I get it already, okay?

Everybody's better than me, everybody's suffered harder than me, anything that bothers me is nothing compared to what you guys went through so the fact that I ever feel sad or sorry for myself means I'm a terrible horrible no good very bad human being that should just fucking DIE so you guys don't have to look at me any more.

What ELSE do you want?

[ghostofthesparklelizards]

[Shakes her head.]

You're missing the point completely, Becca.

And I wasn't done.

[pencilpremonition]

Can't I just mourn my lost friendship in peace?

[ghostofthesparklelizards]

Those who end things on impulse have no right to mourn until all their chances are exhausted. If you're not willing to listen, you don't have a right to mourn.

Luckily for you, I'm not leaving until I'm done.

[pencilpremonition]

I'm not talking about YOU.

[ghostofthesparklelizards]

[Maybe that's a relief...]

Then we'll get to that in a minute. For now, I want you to listen to my story. There's a point to it.

Who knows, it might help with your friend.

[pencilpremonition]

Nothing will help. I'll never be good enough for him. Go away.

[ghostofthesparklelizards]

No. And I think it might, if it's that.

[And continues anyway.]

The ultimate point to that, Becca, is I was a very, very, very stupid little girl. I didn't understand I could be lied to, I didn't know how to judge people properly, and I was a smiling liar because that's what I was taught to make me 'useful' before my seemingly unavoidable death. I had only the barest sense of right and wrong and I could ignore it so easily given the right pretty words.

When I went to Sabra La Tau, I had all my memories taken, I was back at square one. Except with a message from myself that said not to be fooled and that I could handle what was to come. She was mostly right. She assumed the worse because she'd been taken in enough to realize it. But except for one sort of scenario, everything she felt in her life would prepare her for what Sabra La Tau would throw at her.

I'm still not sure if it was fortunate or unfortunate I didn't get my worse memories till near the end.

But the biggest change in me was the people. Instead of a father who only saw me as a tool, I had a wonderful family. I had people who cared about me and encouraged me and despite all the hardships, despite the times where I've hit such low points and didn't know how to deal with things, I started to see and understand people. Because there were people I could trust. People I could see and learn about.

So, the little girl got better, don't you think? [Smiling.]

[pencilpremonition]

So what? I'm a failure, then. This place has been a miracle, I have friends, I have people I care about, that care about me...I don't get beaten and burned every day any more, and I'm still a nasty, miserable, hateful little shit.

So congratulations on being better than me. Again. Now go away.