You were never supposed to leave;

[99_problems]

Who: Lancer, Wil, fuckingnature and possibly others if the situation calls for it.
When: Day 31, evening
Where: ON THE WAY TO THE GREAT OUTDOORS
What:

[so presumably i have fetched a Squire from... somewhere, and we are preparing to brave nature.]

Are you ready?

Comments

[99_problems]

[Holy shit.

A little off balance from the hair-pulling, but regaining that quickly while momentarily out of range of the stabby legs of death. And then quite notably NOT climbing after Wil, but hooking his branch over two others before turning and darting right back under the treespider.

I am totally going to try for cutting off more legs, yes, and this time I don't have a useless branch in tow.]

[fuckingnature]

[ Cutting off their legs doesn't seem to discourage the spider from attempting to stab you with them; it also brings that large canopy of a body closer and closer to you. ]

[bowplucker]

Lancer!

[ started climbing faster and less defensively the moment Lancer ran back at it so with the spider's body falling at the same time it shouldn't take long for him to get higher than it. starts shooting at it from above, aiming for the joints where its legs meet its body ]

[99_problems]

Just keep going!

[EVEN POWERCAPPED her agility stat is pretty goddamned high, so avoiding those with a certain degree of success, and since she trusts Wil not to accidentally shoot her she's keeping focused on the spider. Also counting down legs to try and figure out when she should bolt rather than get squashed by the power of irony.]

[fuckingnature]

[ What if the spider unexpectedly sits on you because it drove one of its shorter legs in too deep into the branch underneath, Lancer. ]

[ What then. ]

[99_problems]

[...then Lancer tries to get the fuck out of there but doesn't make it.

Lower body stuck under a treespider.

Whyyyyy]

[bowplucker]

[ what are we... supposed to do about that... ]

H-hang on, hang on!

[ slinging his bow on his shoulder (keeping his hand on it though) and starting to half climb, half jump down... ]

[fuckingnature]

[ On the one hand the spider is still alive. ]

[ On the other it can't quite stab you from where it is, but also is having problems getting up. ]

[ So that sure is a lot of rolling and lurching it's doing on top of you Lancer, and not the sexy kind. ]

[99_problems]

[ALL THAT MOVEMENT GIVES HER THE OPPORTUNITY TO GET HER LANCE FREE even as she's. Being unpleasantly squished.

It is hard to turn a lance around when you're on the ground, but doing that and TRYING TO STAB THE SPIDER!!!]

Just shoot it!

[bowplucker]

Fine!!

[ stops climbing, hopes those dark things are eyes and shoots at them, IT'S NOT A FROG SO THIS MIGHT WORK THIS TIME?? ]

[fuckingnature]

[ SUDDENLY BLINDED IN SOME EYES is definitely effective in... getting the spider to scramble back up onto what's left of its legs. ]

[ Which means as it gets stabs, it sure is stabbing back with its own legs HI LANCER. ]

[99_problems]

[...so I guess I'm. Getting stabbed.

Because there is no way I could recover my mobility that fast.

WELP.]

[bowplucker]

[ well that backfired horribly ]

HEY! HEY!!

[ SHOOTS ANOTHER OF ITS EYES AM I DISTRACTING YET ]

[fuckingnature]

[ Getting in a couple nice leg and arm stabs and maybe a nice nick to her side before eventually beginning to move forward on the branch, past IMPALED LANCER to try and get at the trunk of the tree and climb up, albeit unsteadily. ]

[99_problems]

[H-hurk...

If I didn't have a squire with me, I'd be letting myself just lay here and bleed BUT I HAVE A SQUIRE WITH ME. So I am TOUGHING THAT SHIT OUT, and taking the opportunity of an unsteady tree spider to rise to my feet.

And give driving my lance through its back into the trunk of the tree it's trying to climb a shot.

Impalings for impalings, bro.]

[bowplucker]

[ just going to focus on gradually shooting the rest of its eyes out, I think I've gotten like five now ]

[fuckingnature]

[ How many eyes does a giant tree spider have anyway WHO KNOWS. ]

[ The important part here is that the spider is stumbling now and that stabbing, while it doesn't get all the way through the spider, does dig in enough to cause it to start twitching and lose its balance again, tipping... back over onto Lancer... ]

[99_problems]

[FUCK.

Narrowly evades getting impaled by the blunt end of her own lance, but still ends up under the spider.]

[bowplucker]

Again??

[ doesn't really want to go near it when its legs are up in the air like that

this would be much easier if spider kill zones were common knowledge, why can't everything have wings

approaching and studying the underside for like a seam or a weak spot of some kind, shoots there if there is one and just somewhere near the middle if there isn't ]

[fuckingnature]

[ LOOKS LIKE A LOT OF DENSE SPIDER FOLIAGE but aside from the sporadic twitching of the legs the spider is no longer attempting to get up. P... progress?! ]

[99_problems]

[Skip me I'll just be. Under this.]

[bowplucker]

[ STILL DOESN'T WANT TO GO NEAR IT but drops down to the "floor level" branch Lancer and the spider are on and comes closer to shoot it this time '-'... ]

[fuckingnature]

[ Twitch... twitchtwitch. ]

[bowplucker]

[ ...

darts in and drops to one knee next to it to try and prop most of the weight off of Lancer and onto his shoulder ]

Go, go!

[99_problems]

[WRIGGLING FREE!!

And then bodily grabbing Wil so the damned thing can't flip itself upright again.

And maybe it will finish impaling itself on my lance.]

Thanks-!