thusia | (no subject)

Think?

[All that anger is, in a split second, refocused on Byakuya.]

[Shirou's anger is scary! But he agreed that telling Shirou the truth was the best option, and he said he wouldn't run from it even if it meant being killed.

So he pauses, but continues in the end anyway.]

I remember the fire. I also remember the night that Kotomine Kirei went to see Emiya Kiritsugu, and what he brought back with him.

[In one swift motion, he's up and shoving Byakuya to the floor, an unhinged little smirk on his face]

And what was that, huh? Want to tell me? You're not saying my father's a liar, are you Byakuya? I know you're a bastard, but you're not that low, are you?

[instinct says to shut up, agree that Shirou is right, and hope not to get hurt. But he doesn't want to shut up and run away from everything anymore. He can't fix anything by ignoring it.

He's visibly frightened as usual, but while he doesn't try to push Shirou away he also doesn't back down.]

You're an idiot, you know that? Kirei's entire life is dedicated to fucking with people. That's what he taught you! His idea of "pleasure" is ruining others and you know that. What makes you think a man who doesn't care about anything would raise a child out of the goodness of his heart?

You were mentally MIA for six months when he brought you home, aside from nightmares. He bragged about it. The ultimate act of sadism against Emiya Kiritsugu was you.

[His fingers curl in Byakuya's shirt, and he wants nothing more than to grab him and slam his head into the floor until there's nothing left but a bloody smear. Shirou needs Byakuya here, he does, if only to confirm his own existence. But if Byakuya can't even do that much, if he has to deny it as much as Emiya Kiritsugu has, then he doesn't have much use anymore, does he?

He doesn't, not at all, and with that, he grabs Byakuya and knocks his head into the floor.

But he can't get too carried away now, no, not yet, not yet at all, he needs to make sure Byakuya knows how much of a fucking liar he is before that.

Shirou doesn't understand why it's so difficult, why people can't accept Kotomine Kirei for who he is. Kirei's cruel, Kirei's a murderer, but it's not that bad, and Shirou knows his father loves him because he understands these things better than anyone else. They're just alike and precious to one another, and that's why Byakuya is full of shit]

Will you just shut up?!

[He sees stars, and grabs at Shirou's wrists, digging his nails in hard.]

You don't have to like it. You can just keep being Kotomine Shirou all you like if you really think that life's better. You've been Kotomine Shirou most of your life. But I was there and I know you were Emiya Shirou first.

[Reflexively he yanks his hands away from Byakuya, and it's confusing how those tears in his skin feel like they burn, like there's flames licking at his body. For all the fury that's wound tight inside him, he can't bring himself to act upon any of it - instead, he stares down at Byakuya, blank, hands trembling.]

It's better. It's all there is.

[That day ten years ago, someone had grabbed his hand and pulled him from the rubble, and he can't remember that face or the sound of that person's voice, but their hands were so strong and warm, it had to have been Kirei, right? There's no one else it could have been, he can't let himself believe anything else. It's everyone around him that's crrazy, that's lying, and he shouldn't have expected anything more from Byakuya of all people.]

Not anymore. Kirei isn't here. Emiya Kiritsugu is. People who actually give a shit about you are here.

[Kirei isn't here, Shinji isn't here, Shirou can't accept anything Byakuya said -- rather, it confuses him, makes him angry, and gives him the mental shove that moves him to violence again.

Byakuya will find himself getting jerked to his feet and slammed into the nearest wall once, twice, with all the cold ruthlessness that Shirou learned from his father. He doesn't need words, they're not getting through, and speaking would take his concentration from the task at hand anyways.

[He can't hold in the yelp when he hits the wall. He coughs, clawing at Shirou's wrists again and trying not to descend into the usual whimpering tears. Family's too important not to keep it together for.]

Shirou--

What?!

The truth won't go away just by making people stop saying it.

It's not the truth.

[He wrenches a hand away from Byakuya and gets his knife, slamming it into Byakuya's shoulder]

Stop saying it is! Just shut up already!

[Fortunately he has had this happen enough to hold back anything but a hiss. It still fucking hurts and his eyes sting, but he just gets his nails into Shirou's wrist again.]

You're such a stupid fuck! Just think for half a second! Why do you do shit like jump in front of cars for strangers, huh? You don't know Kirei at all if you think he'd pull your ass out of a fire!

I don't know and I don't care.

[Which is a horrific lie, one he doesn't even try to mask with a half-truth like he usually does.

Either way, he grabs the knife and twists it]

[That earns a scream, and he tries to kick Shirou in the knee]

Oh get over it you little psycho! "Emiya Shirou"!

[What about this other knife flying down towards Shirou's hand from the ceiling though? That is pretty weird, man.

But it's cool because, come on. You have ten fingers. Do you really need that many. Do you.]

[WELL HE KINDA DOES NEED THOSE FINGERS OK???? He feels the knife kinda wedge in his palm and that wouldn't be a big deal except he was busy???? So yeah, yeah dropping Byakuya and glaring in the direction the knife came from]

[You know what sounds like a good idea?

Scrambling out of the way. Yep.]

[There's nothing on the ceiling but a crack.

You might want to look behind you though, because some crazy bitch is swinging a metal traffic sign at your leg, hard enough to shatter bone.]

Emiya Shirou!

[Yeah, so? Leg? Pretty fucking broken now. Rest of Shirou? On the ground, laughing.]

[Oh god damnit is this really necessary]

[Is this a crazy contest we are having? No fucking way is Yukari losing a crazy contest.]

Oh? That's a good attitude you have, you know. I definitely appreciate it!

[Swinging the sign up and slamming it down towards Shirou's shoulder like a hammer.]

[He hears his shoulder pop and crack as the sign connects and his laughter is choked for a moment as the pain registers]

I can't help it, no one knows my name around here!

H-Hey, you don't have to beat him up that much!