thusia | (no subject)

Just a little earlier today! [smiles at him more genuinely] She's back. She's here.

[O THANK GOD

you can see the relief ALL OVER HIS FACE and he tears up a little]

Thank goodness.

She was trying to visit people but she was looking pretty tired. Go show your face to her in a bit, okay? [reaches to put a hand on Allen's head] I didn't want to go ahead and just talk about serious things before I knew you knew that.

Aah, I will, for sure. I'll let her rest too. Thank you. Ahah, between her being tired and me just running out and passing out we could have missed each other a while.

Passing out?

Er, just from being tired running around in the forest.

O-oh good! You had me worried for a second.

No no, nothing serious!

That's good.

...Listen, Allen, I. Really do need to talk to you about something.

... What is it?

[takes a seat with him and hugs his knees] How familiar are you with what's going on with Nova and Lucky?

... I know things got really serious. That she tried to blow herself up. And Nova's barely able to talk about it.

[lips purse unhappily for a few moments] I didn't know that much.

He's turned on Yuu over it.

He fought with Kanda?

[balls his fists and looks down. Rambling fast, not wanting to give space for Allen to interrupt and maybe have a good point or defend Nova or something ugh]

Yuu says that he and Lucky talked and Lucky was unhappy, didn't want to settle down like Nova or Yuu, wanted to do something different to get out and Yuu knew it would probably be dangerous maybe suicidal but that he respected her right to do that and so he wouldn't interfere, he didn't ask whatever it was. Nova apparently got really angry at him for it and said he was a shitty teammate and that he'd never cared about them. Then Yuu and I were sitting together in the hall and I didn't know anything about any of this at the time and Nova comes and starts ignoring Yuu and telling me how Lucky nearly died and it was a good thing someone cared enough to check on her and Yuu left so of course I talked with Nova and I kept saying to give Yuu a chance because he'd definitely have reasons because he was Nova's friend and Lucky's friend, that I knew it really well that he was, and Nova wouldn't buy it, was scoffing about it, but he said that if Yuu came to him he'd listen. So I tried to talk to Yuu about it but Yuu won't go to him because Nova's made him believe he never had that. That if he can say that they were never friends. Never really team, even.

. . .

[aaah, geez...]

I asked him about Sabra, about his team -- since I'd been dragged into it, I wanted to understand the history. He kept repeating 'it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter', kept saying that it never meant anything at all, but he'd answer my questions anyway, and when I asked if the team fought among itself a lot, he said "Your team was your team. You were stuck together. So you figured something out." He told me I shouldn't try to fix things, and he won't go talk to Nova, and he said there was nothing in the first place for Nova to break and then he begged me to stop.

[rubs his face] I do understand Nova's feelings! He's probably scared like anything that he'd lose a friend -- I know that feeling, I know that feeling. But I understand Yuu's too. She already died. If she really wants to leave this -- she has to have that right. She has to have that right or it's just like back home. And I keep thinking it's a stupid misunderstanding and if they'd just understand each other but they don't and even if I ignored Yuu asking me to leave it alone, I'm too angry to fix anything. I'm so angry and it's awful because I like Nova a lot, I want to be his friend, but I'm so angry when I see Yuu hurt like this. So -- Allen, I --

. . .

[i can bite my tongue on my crazy suicidal friends thinking it's ok for my other friends to be crazy and suicidal

and just squeeze your shoulder]

I understand. Though, it sounds like he's being as foolish as Nova is, responding to being hurt by acting like there was nothing to be hurt by in the first place and shoving it all away. Though of course you love him more than anything.

[Allen Walker, master of tact]

I know Yuu's being dumb too, but I can't get him to be the one to go talk to Nova about it. Because it's not like he'll ever set himself up to get hurt more. He's dumb! He doesn't actually work things out... they're both dumb...

... I'll talk to them both.

U-um both of them?? [is that wise] If -- if you're sure. I just know I can't talk to Nova myself about this. My bias is, um, a little legendary.

It's because of your bias that I want to talk to Kanda too.

...okay don't get me in trouble though I MEAN thank you.

It's fine. I'm not doing it just for you after all.

I just... didn't know what else to do. I can harass Yuu until the sun falls out of the sky, but he won't go back to someone who's rejected him. It's hard enough to earn that sort of care from him that to throw it away is... you know?