(no subject)

[crazylikeavulp]

Who: A rogue latrine orderly, her backup, AND YOU
When: Day 16, afternoon
Where: Every apartment (except her own, that one is already sparkling and pristine)
What: A great degerming

[Lucky has her bucket of cleaning supplies slung over one arm, and she's pounding on your door.]

HOUSEKEEPING!

((If you're answering a door, put the apartment in the subject line por favor ♥ ))

Comments

Apartment H

[pencilpremonition]

Housekeeping?

[pencilpremonition]

Oh, it's you.

[crazylikeavulp]

I'mma make this real simple for you, girl: You got a toilet in there?

[herpunishment]

An' assistant. She's jus' here ta clean.

[pencilpremonition]

Yeah. Yours break or something?

[crazylikeavulp]

I'm cleaning every crapper in the hallway, so move aside.

[pencilpremonition]

She thinks I'm trying to poison her and steal her stuff, and now she's offering to clean my apartment for me?

[pencilpremonition]

After the way you've treated me and now you're just offering to clean my toilet for me?

[Yet note how she gets out of the way.]

Apt B

[ticking]

[i am confused by this door pounding when I don't even bother to lock this thing

opening]

Ah.. you...

[herpunishment]

Don't be so gloom an' broom. She's not after your whole apartment either, jus' the toilet.

[crazylikeavulp]

I am not "offering." I've been ordered to give the johns a good scrubbing, and I'mma see to it that they sparkle. Nothing more, nothing less!

[steps inside]

Note that you may monitor my process, but my associate Humor will be monitoring you in order to make sure that this transaction goes smoothly. He's been authorized to employ lethal force if necessary.

Re: Apt B

[crazylikeavulp]

I'm here to either kick ass or clean toilets. Step aside.

Re: Apt B

[ticking]

[...shrug. steps aside]

Suit yourself.

Re: Apt B

[herpunishment]

Heya, don't mind us. Jus' let the lady through ta clean.

[pencilpremonition]

Charming. Well, I guess it needs doing. I wish it wasn't her, though.

[pencilpremonition]

And yet when I've been ordered to make food for everyone, you won't eat it and think I'm trying to kill you.

Fine, fine, go for it. I'll even say thank you, unlike you do for what I try to do for you.

Re: Apt B

[crazylikeavulp]

So I shall! I only ask that you not misinterpret the good work that I do here today as a sign of goodwill.

Re: Apt B

[crazylikeavulp]

[leans in and whispers]

Uh, if this guy tries anything, let's skip on the aggression and just flee, okay?

[herpunishment]

'f she can squwash those complaints, ya can can 'em, too.

Apt C

[larcenous]

[Opens the door]

What?

Re: Apt B

[herpunishment]

Huh? 'kay. . .

Re: Apt B

[ticking]

I'll try to keep your black hatred in mind.

[waves her past]

[crazylikeavulp]

I don't really care if you're trying to kill me or not. You probably wouldn't have enough poison to take me down anyway. It's the principle of the matter.

But sure, say whatever you want. Who am I to take away your delusions of moral superiority? I get the feeling you wouldn't have a whole lot of personality left afterwards if I did.

[heads on into the bathroom and prepares herself for the task at hand with a completely unnecessary flair]

Re: Apt B

[ticking]

Quest?

Re: Apt C

[crazylikeavulp]

Your toilet is crying out to me. "Help me," it says.