thusia | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

Who: Allen and Lenalee, everybody vaguely or totally useless in landing this thing
When: Day 117, afternoon
Where: open windowed floor
What:

[When complicated fuel plans, trajectory calculations, and wind interference are involved, some people know that it becomes their job to stay out of the way until simpler skills are involved. Allen Walker is one of those people.

Excitedly staring out the window only served to rev him up, and the general buzz and feel for landing has only gotten him over-restless to land. So to kill time, he's working out.

it's a good thing he was already capable of one-handed upside-down standing push-ups, because he's only got the one, son]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Mm, I'm glad. I think the situation would be better served this way, seeing as you've been together with Walker the longest and it wouldn't do to give up claim entirely.

[TAKES A SWING AT LINK'S STUPID FACE]

[Blocks--already prepping to catch the follow-up swing too]

[jerk!!!]

You don't get to keep a claim through me, asshole!

[Just sort of hangs on to him]

I know that--I don't mean for myself. But in terms of Walker's twin realizing why we're bothered by his involvement.

I already told him why! We had that argument ages ago, but I decided I wasn't gonna get in Allen's way. And if it got to be too much I wouldn't fucking leave like some shitbag coward over it! What the fuck do we all have each other for if you just ditch us at the first sign of trouble? You think we're fucking useless?!

I promise you that isn't what I'm doing--I need to do this because I'm useless otherwise! If you've tried and I've tried, he won't understand just from being told, and I'll only make things worse if I keep trying while still in this state.

THEN GO AHEAD AND GET LOST IF YOU DON'T WANT OUR HELP!

[GAWD]

SCOWL, I'M NOT STILL TALKING TO YOU BECAUSE I DON'T WANT HELP!!

YOU'RE NOT ASKING FOR HELP, RAPTOR SHIT! You're asking for permission to fucking abandon us!

I am not abandoning anyone. If Walker thought I were trying to do something as ridiculous as that he would have stopped me and we wouldn't be having this conversation.

You already decided you're leaving, so just get out of my sight!

[...tugging a little, speaking more quietly]

My deciding I cannot view myself as Walker's lover during this time, or changing bedrooms for a while, does not constitute a desire to leave either of you. Quite the opposite. I want us to be able to be happy and balanced. You know this. And whether or not I am his lover does not change that I will always be a presence in his life. And in yours if you would have me.

I won't make myself someone else you have to watch disappear.

[trying to pull away]

You're not just changing rooms, you're going to a whole different floor! Because of some fucking copy.

[Does a thing where he loosens his grip but still follows the movement, at least with one hand]

If I could think of him as just some copy perhaps I wouldn't have had this issue at all, but he isn't that. As you said, he's important to Walker, and he's important to me...

In any case the apartments are connected, I only intend to take some clothes and sleep up there. Is it that much?

Obviously it is, jackass!

Would a different room on this level suffice?

[but we've been converting the bedroom on the kitchen half of the apartment into a pantry and freezer...]

All the bedrooms are taken . . .

. . .

It seems very awkward to sleep in the same room as someone you have been intimate with when you intend to take a break from that sort of relationship.

Maybe you shouldn't take a fucking break.

I need to...

It isn't so dramatic as trying to have nothing to do with you, and it doesn't preclude having your help, I just need to be out of the frame of mind where everything Walker's twin does is painful to me, especially when that isn't his intent...

I can try a different arrangement than moving upstairs...

It's everything that fuck's done that's made you think this bullshit is a good idea, so how is it going to stop you hurting?

. . . Like what?

His worst offense is only being obtusely imperceptive about certain things, which only hurt me because I was waiting for a specific response. I can forgive him for it if I stop expecting him to notice or respond in a certain way, and I'll have more patience to explain it should it be necessary.

...As for what to do... I suppose using a futon rather than the bed... [It'll be nostalgic...]

. . . What response were you waiting for?

Mm, just... if he's going to be so close to Walker, I'm not someone who can only either be worked around or apologized to.

Re: [LATER]

hydralize - 2013-02-14 02:41 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [LATER]

boundbydevotion - 2013-02-14 07:34 (UTC) - Expand

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only