[will just be... taking a moment to breathe and rub a hand over his face as well. the harsher expressions falling back into a softer one, completely sharing the misery of his guest--perhaps more]

That's exactly what it is I'm afraid of.

You tell me that Shirou... some part of this Kotomine Shirou remembers being Emiya Shirou, and the first thing I think to myself is "Will I have to sacrifice another of my family--Emiya Kiritsugu's son--to ensure that the monster he has latched onto doesn't stay where it can hurt others?"

Because that is the life I lived... back home. Back there, I had a hand in a lot of terrible situations, believing myself correct--and in a lot of ways, possibly so. Being right or doing the right thing... that's not an easy life at all. I was glad to die, if only because if I lived I feared another would have to die instead.

Here... since dying... getting back what pieces I have lost even while others railed at me for being the cause of such misery--I was able to regain my wife, my daughter, my son... and then the possibility--no, the reality of losing them over again...

... if you ask other from similar worlds as ours... the fate of Emiya Kiritsugu is often the same. He is killed. And so is his family. I don't want that for me, or my family, anymore.