(no subject)

[oi_theoi]

Who: Albinia and YOU
When: Day 64, noonish
Where: Shrine Area
What: A story.

[As promised, Albinia is sitting in the shrine area. The temperature might be a bit cooler there, but that's more for the snakes' discomfort than any of you.]

[And she's just calmly waiting for people to gather.]

[Mingle | Storytime! | Questions]

((OOC: You can handwave your character having been here to hear the story, even if you can't really post here yourself.))

Comments

Re: Question

[oi_theoi]

Do you think this is easy?!

[And there was actually a yell. Not just a slightly raised voice, but an outright yell.]

When people asked me this story the other day, before I decided to just tell all of you at once, I could barely get through it! For the last two days, I've been working on making a sealant for the flooding and steeling myself to tell this story! And you know why I did?

Because you needed to know. Not knowing could only hurt you now. But do you know how many of us could get through that story, could actually stay to answer questions? Not many!

You want to talk about heartless? FINE. How heartless is it to assume someone is okay after having to relive their world dying and they were powerless to stop it? How they failed billions of people they were responsible for, people they had to take care of? Then to throw it in their face, have people say you didn't try. Or have people act like it's a lie. Or how the vile creatures who got them all killed should be given a chance when we gave them so many!

Tell me, then, how is it heartless to not want to watch everyone die again?!

Re: Question

[crowdependency]

I was dragged into a war when I was six years old. My parents were murdered, and my village was destroyed, and I was dragged away from my brother to fight the monsters that did it for a god I hated. For years I watched my friends die, both at the hands of our enemies and the hands of our superiors. They were experimented on, tortured, killed for the sake of god.

Then I went to Sabra la Tau, another war for gods, watching everyone I love die over and over, being forced to play games that killed and tortured them, losing the people most important to me and being able to do nothing, nothing to save them from a horrific fate... Everyone died. Everyone. Even those who survived that battle in the name of gods and got back home were eventually hunted down, declared traitors by the people they worked for, devoted their lives to, my friends, my family... I was the last one left. For two years, I lived like that, I lived watching everyone I loved disappear before my eyes in the name of god.

And now I'm here. Not even dying gave me any rest from fighting for gods, dying didn't let my friends rest, we're always always the playthings of gods. And we're here, with your afterlife instead of our own, even if I die I may never see my brother and so many of the people who made up my world again. And that's on you.

But there are so many people here, that I wanted to build a life with, that I wanted to grow old with and live happily with. How many more times will I have to watch them die, how many more wars will I have to fight? How long until Lupe catches them and they're gone for good... It's not heartless to not want to watch everyone die again. But I've had to, over and over, because you think our suffering is worth it. I know you tried. This is you trying. This is you doing your best, fighting for everything you believe in... But you do it at the expense of all of us. You think it's reasonable that we fight your fights, that we build your world for you and you expect us to fight alongside you. I don't want to give those gods that decided we needed to know our place a chance. I don't want to give you a chance either. Because you're the one throwing everything in my face right now.

Re: Question

[oi_theoi]

...

And I am reminded why I'm clearly a fool.

[And then her expression shuts down. No feelings at all, but instead of stiff as she would usually be, she's slumped. More like someone who just shut off instead of emotionless.]

This isn't helpful. None of this is helpful.

Unless it's about saving lives, I have things I need to do. Clearly this isn't the best use of my time to do that. Everything else can wait until this crisis is over.

[And then she's gone.]

Re: Question

[crowdependency]

Coward. We can't all run away so easily.