thusia | (no subject)

(no subject)

Who: ~
When: Day 58, NIGHT INTO MORNING!!11
Where: wherever there's Visa....... yes
What: MORE TOTALLY UNIMPORTANT THINGS mingle about them

[there's a voice whispering into your ear

Or maybe it's just a thought in the back of your mind?]

Don't you want to go home?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Did you really think I'd kill myself? Who are you taking me for...?

I wonder.

[yep. still flopped. not even inflection in voice]

What about me ever made you thought I'm the type to run away and take the easy way out...? Now you're just being insulting.

The moment you decided to start ignoring the reality of your situation.

Really. Are you sure you aren't projecting?

I'm still here, aren't I?

[against best efforts... stupid obligations...]

So am I...! Despite all the pain and everything that's happened, I'm still here...! And I've never once willingly tried to run into death.

That's nice.

If you're that disappointed in me, just say so! You're infuriating!

I already made my opinion known on the issue.

No, you haven't! All you did is tell me I should stay dead and tried to encourage me to kill myself!

I'm tired of this. And I'm tired of being treated unfairly! Where the hell have you picked up your people's skills? You're impossible!

Do you think I don't understand how desperate this situation is? I know it's hopeless. I know all of this is beyond my control! But if there is a way, then I owe it to my people! I will look for a way out, even with the knowledge I might never find it.

[there's a small pause before he talks again]

I wasn't lying back then. I really did want to call this place home. But I can't turn my back to my people.

Where'd I pick up my people skills...?

Hm...

... that's a good question.

Now you're just ignoring me.

[sighing]

Fine. This isn't something we're going to reach and understanding on.

Probably not. Since such a large responsibility isn't something I'm familiar with. In fact, it was something I was against from the start.

Do you remember what you told me back then when we fought?

"You really like that word. 'I'."

Your experiences are absolutely meaningless to me if all you do is use them to be condescending when I do something you don't approve of. What sort of lesson should I get from your words?

You're right in saying this sort of responsibility isn't something you're familiar with. It's exactly the sort of thing you keep running away from, after all.

You're a coward.

[... just kind of looks over to Ling, expectantly]

Ah. You should have known that from the start.

I told you, didn't I?

It's always been the noisy ones like you and Obito and Naruto that make for better people than ones like me.

If anyone hasn't been listening around here, it's been you.

And while I object to being in that sort of role, I will take it on if that is what people would expect or have of me. I'm just aware of my own short-comings. However, if it's for the people around me, of course, I will adapt. That is one thing I excel at. Largely because I'm skillful in enough areas to cover for the ones I am not.

So?

[sitting up and starts to climb to his feet]

I'm not one for false hope. It ends up hurting too much.

Instead, I think I'll get back to working on getting this place in order. Seems to be time better spent than on useless ventures back to the right time, world, and universe as the one I've left behind, anyway.

Finally doing something meaningful again instead of wasting away? At least that's some development.

[this smile. you are familiar with it]

Well. I do have promises and obligations to uphold. But I did need the mental space. Not just that but I suppose the tool that "would have been emperor" couldn't exactly understand the tool called "Hatake Kakashi".

This tool is better put to use with the situation in front of him.

If I can't understand you, it's because you keep hiding yourself on purpose. That's exactly why you're so infuriating.

Not everyone's foolish enough to wear their heart on their sleeve.

I'd rather live in pain and fall into despair than hide my heart and become apathetic. Feelings and emotions aren't something to hide. It's what makes us humans. It's proof we're alive.

You're someone who lives in the present, but I'm someone who runs to the future. If I'm chasing the past right now, it's not because I can't accept my death. It's because I don't have a choice.

You can fool yourself as much as you'd like, but you can't fool me.

There is always a choice.

[there's a bitter laugh here]

I'm not doing much of a job at fooling myself either. You're right, there is a choice. But just thinking about it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

And you'll probably always have that bad taste.

[ silent for a few moments, and then he walks to Kakashi, hugging him ]

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