thusia | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

Who: THUSIA
When: Day 55 - Early Afternoon
Where: WHEREVER
What: Mingle

[Oooooo, it's like a rainbow ALL OVER THE PLACE.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Snerks.]

Becca, I'm a terrible person to have that with. Especially since I can have a pretty fake front.

[sighs and snuggles harder]

Shadow... I know. I know that you're a terrible person. I know that you've done terrible things, and that nothing in the world, not even forgiveness, can take away what you've done. I know that.

[tries to look into his eyes, quite seriously]

I don't care. And I've made a conscious choice to not care. And if that makes me a fool, then I'll be the king of fools, I don't care. You might be pretty fake, you might be more fake than real, but I know that you care about me in return, and I know that much is real. And that's all that matters.

....

Ya are a fool.

Fool that loves you.

[Pushing himself to his feet.]

That's dangerous.

[gets up and tries to get a hold of again]

So what are you saying? That we can't be friends?

Nothing wrong with being friends, Becca. Friends are fine.

But love...ain't that a different thing?

Yeah, I guess it is.

...I love you. And I'm not sorry.

But ya might be...

[quite earnestly]

Shadow you could kill me in cold blood and when the gods brought me back I'd love you.

Which is the stupidest thing ever, I know. But that's how it is.

I'll never be sorry about this.

...that's what I'm afraid of.

Why are you afraid of that? What's so bad about having someone who loves you no matter what?

Because love shouldn't be that unconditional.

[Congratulations, you've found one of Becca's major underlying issues.]

But...how can you say you love someone if you wouldn't do anything for them?

There's a difference between doing ANYTHING for someone and letting them DO anything.

...So you're afraid I'll let you go berserk and not stop you?

If you want me to hold you back, then I will...

That's the thing, Becca. I need to tell ya to do that. THAT'S dangerous.

I'm sorry I'm not good enough? What do you want from me?

Who said it was you?!

[attempting to grab and pull in for a hug]

Shadow... It's like...you want things from me, but I don't know what they are...you're disappointed in me every time I open my mouth...

If that's not a clear sign of me being the problem, I don't know what is.

Because you think I'm some amazing and wonderful thing I'm not! I...I don't even know why ya do!

And then ya go on and on about how I could do whatever and that'd be fine, but it's NOT. It's terrifying because it'd be easy.

It'd be so easy to be terrible...

[holds tight and strokes his hair]

Shadow... I know. I know, you're not perfect. You're just as badly broken as I am. But I believe in you. It would be so easy to be terrible, but you wouldn't. I trust you.

You're the only one who does! You and...and a girl whose in a COMA!

So?! Does it not matter because it's just me?

Am I really so worthless?

NO! Stop putting words in my mouth! There's plenty of ways for me to ruin things, don't try and make things that aren't the case at all be involved!