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Who: Any and all
When: Day 47, early afternoon
Where: The baths
What: Nothing particularly out of the ordinary.

[And while people are busy with petitions and late breakfasts and lunches, whole most are well settled into going about their daily routines, it seems as good a time as any to slip into the relative peace of the public bath.

Now, if only it would remain peaceful for the time needed to soak away a day's worth of dust and ash and heavy thoughts.]

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Ha ha! Aaah, I'm not sure! He's got a boyfriend, y'know, though I guess that's not a big deal? And I don't remember being together at all... geez, he didn't say a thing about River. Though I guess him saying something about it would be way too much. Wow, all of a sudden this is all I'm thinking about. Though this is totally your fault!

Please keep your blame to the gods here; it is not precisely a subject I would have chosen to speak of on my own.

There are undoubtedly other people in his heart, and his life. There may be others in yours as well. I very much doubt that would change anything of what you are to each other.

Sorry, I'm just teasing! I know you totally didn't want to say any of that, you looked like you were running right into a firepit while you were talking.

There isn't really... I think I like Kida, but I need to find him first, he's disappeared. But you're right that it's different from Gokudera.

Even if he's too stubborn to speak of it on his own, it's still a private matter, and I have forfeited nearly all rights to watch over him as I once did.

Kida . . . I have not seen him, and he is one that I had wished to speak to.

I'm really worried about him.

Forefit...? Why? Are things going bad between you two?

If he is lost to the jungle, it may be a long time before you see him next.

[Is quiet a moment, sinking down to rest his arms on the side of the pool, and looking out rather than meeting Yamamoto's eyes.]

. . . the cracks in Gokudera's heart are many, and more than a few run deep. In the world of Sabra La Tau, as the blank he named 'Enigma', I drove a wedge into those cracks so deep that it still threatens to break him apart.

. . .

Sorry to ask you this now. . . I want to ask what the wedge is, but I don't want to make you answer.

I said before that you are one of the few here with whom I do not mind speaking the truth. And if there are any hands he would trust to ease the damage I have done, it would be yours.

He considered death an acceptable option. Both his own, and the deaths of others on Hydra. And more than that, he considered it a first option, rather than a last.

Nobodies such as I was do not accept death. We fight against the end of our existence every minute of every day, because if we do not will ourselves to be, the nature of the universe itself will crush us. To be presented with a viewpoint that was such a complete anathema to the principles of existence . . . to know that no matter what I did, he would give up, and in giving up he would one day be taken by the earth as Blade had been . . . I could not accept it. I could not accept caring about another human only to lose him to a fate worse than any he could understand.

So I left him. I severed the ties between us before they were barely formed, and allowed no new ones to grow in their place.

And I did this as his teammate.

. . .

Zexion. . .

I have been party to atrocities. I have used others for my own ends, and I have given orders that have led those few in whom I actually had any sense of trust to their destruction. But in all of that, this is the first and only time my heart truly known 'regret'.

I think, for many, this would no doubt be justice.

. . .

That's still pretty sad though. It's not like I would be able to agree with that either.

No. You least of anyone. But you would still have had a heart with which to understand him.

I did not. And in that alone, I did more damage than I manged in five years of caring.

Five years... all that time, right. . .

I don't know. . . do you really want to just break away? He's here now. If what broke you apart was that he gave up, and you left him then... isn't this a chance?

I said I had forfeited all rights to our previous relationship. I did not say that I had decided it best to refrain from imposing upon his life as it is now.

... I guess there's a subtlety there I don't really get. you can't erase that stuff, right? But that's good to hear.

The difference is that when he asks to hear nothing of the time I knew, or when he bans me from use of anything but his current pseudonym, I have no grounds on which to insist it is unfair.

It may be that the bonds we had cannot be erased, but they can be lost. And as it is, he has no desire to see them found.

. . .

[ok i get that

i don't look happy about it though]

[Reaches over to hairruffle, his mostly dry fingers light over the wet strands.]

I and mine are no longer nobodies. But we are still notoriously stubborn.

[tilts and smiles lopsidedly]

Well, I'm just glad it's not over yet.

We talked a while yesterday, me and Gokudera. I think we decided on something we can live with for a long time. How to live here, I mean.

That is good news,for you as much as him.

May I ask about the details?

We decided not to give up.

I guess we're just not built that way. But we want to see Tsuna again someday. Even if we're told we can never go back, as long as we're alive and there's plenty of timelines and universes, there's no way it isn't possible, right?

But we aren't there yet... and we'd go nuts just trying stuff that's way over our heads right now. If we really work hard and live here like the gods want, we can advance this planet pretty far. They give out things like refrigerators, so we're not working with just the stone age here! Even if it takes years, we've decided to keep working as hard as we can.

So we can take care of who's here, and work hard to bring our family back together, all at once.

I guess it doesn't change much of what we do every day. And it's not like we expect to succeed for a really, really long time! But it just feels better... to not give up.

You have both always been driven by a sense of purpose. I have no doubt that you will dedicate yourselves to this one as thoroughly as you have to others.

I'm proud of you both.

[... '-'

gosh]

And much as I wish that the circumstances were different, I am glad you are together again.

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